The Adventures of Beckham: August 2010

Beckham Brooks finally made his appearance into the world on August 14, 2010!! I can't believe after all this time our son is here. We are so blessed to have such a beautiful, healthy, happy baby boy. Brian wrote this amazing letter to our son about his birth story and his top 10 list so far. It's the most beautiful thing I've read. It brought laughter and tears all at the same time. I thought you would enjoy it as much as I did......

Our son, Beckham Brooks Abbott was born a week ago today. Since I don't always have the best memory, I like to put things down in writing so I can remember them in the future. I have done this for years and years, so I'm going to put things down in the form of a "Top Ten List" of the events of the last week. It's been a heck of a ride so far, and I can't wait for all the times to come!! Kassie and Beckham, I love you both so much!!

10. Being a pretty stressful buildup week to Beck's birth, I didn't really plan very well for the big day. I wore the MOST uncomfortable shoes in my closet up to the hospital for delivery day. I'm not sure why...maybe it was a punishment to make me feel a micro fraction of the uncomfortableness Kassie would feel as she had her water broken at 9 am. From there, lots of pitocin to induce labor and then we waited. Once the contractions started to increase in strength and get closer together, we knew we were getting started. Every move Kassie made, I jumped up, ran to the bed and asked if it was time. I have been known for a touch of impatience so a 12-hour wait was a tough pill to swallow in my uncomfortable shoes...

9. After laboring for several hours, Dr. Pazdernik (Pazzy), our doctor came in to check on Kass and recommended we think about getting her epidural. Kass wanted to wait as long as she could...well, we might have over cooked that a bit. At 2 pm, I thought she might be dying. She was so uncomfortable and the contractions seemed to just pile one on top of another. It was the most helpless feeling I have ever had. My wife was in agony and I could just stand there in my uncomfy shoes. The nurse came in and had Kass roll on her side to prep her...

Then a knight on a shining cart rolled in. I never even got the guys name, but he had the answer. He sat right down and after a few minutes, the epidural was in and working. The doctor rolled a very happy, and maybe a bit loopy Kass over, and she stared at him and said, "Hi. You are my new best friend. I bet you have A LOT of best friends." She was right, he was probably one of the most well liked doctors in the entire building. In her loopy state, Kassie also noticed that his hospital "hat" had golf stuff all over it, and told him how much she liked his cap.

8. After the epidural, things got a lot better. Kassie's mom and dad Susie and Steve, Jessa, Scott and Indie, our 5-week-old niece and Beckham's cousin, came in to visit. My parents Tom and Ruth, sister Katie and brother Ian all came up to welcome Beck. We got some good family time in while we watched Kassie's contractions go up and down without so much as a peep from her. Then, at 6 pm, the nurse came in to check on Kass. "She's ready, we are going to start pushing in 30 minutes...everybody out.

"HOLY @#%*&!!!! Fill in your own word here. I jumped up and started asking what to do as if the baby was just going to fall on the floor. He didn't for those of you who haven't been through it. After a near panic attack, the nurses finally positioned me where I was supposed to be. Kassie's sister and mom stayed in the room with us to help push, count, photograph and encourage Kassie on. They were GREAT!! Thank you Jessa and thank you Susie for all your help, love and encouragement. It's now time for action...

7. I had many visions of what it was going to be like when we started pushing. None of them were even close. I had envisioned lots of ear piercing screaming, blood everywhere and the likely end being me sitting in a bed next to my wife and child after passing out on the floor. Something crazy happened that day, my instincts just took over and I was able to handle the whole thing. After about 30 minutes, the nurse directing all of the pushing while the doctor delivered another baby right next door asked me, do you want to see your son's head?

Huh? "You mean his real head?" No, his pretend head that he is going to send out first as a surprise balloon-o-gram. As most of you that know me know, sometimes when under stress I say some pretty crazy things. "Real head" has to be one of the stupidest things I've ever said. Yikes. Undaunted by her moronic husband, Kassie pushed on. And on, and on. For two and a half hours. There was no screaming, very little blood and even some joking in between contractions. At 2 1/2 hours, Dr. Pazzy wanted to talk about our options. We can't push much more, it's too hard on the baby. We can "vacuum" him out, which also had some risks, or Pazzy's recommendation was to just do a C-section. Nothing wrong with a C, my mom had 3, Jessa had Indie that way, Kass was just hoping if she pushed for a long time, she could deliver him that way.

6. The conversation was short, and Pazzy said let's push one or two more contractions. So we did. 3, 2, 1 PUUUUUSH!! Pazzy grabbed the boy's head, turned in slightly, and the entire head came out!! Pazzy stepped back, calmly pointed to each of the three nurses in the room, gave them their marching orders and "suited up." She was like a field general getting ready to go into battle...so calm, it instilled so much confidence in me. She put on her scrubs, some gloves and said, "let's get that baby out here." And she did. At the top of the next contraction, Kassie pushed one more time and Beckham Brooks Abbott was born at 9:05 am on Saturday, August 14th. He was 19 1/2 inches long and weighed 6 pounds, 15 ounces. He was perfect...he IS perfect. I never knew I could be so proud and so happy after such a long day of emotion. Kassie and I both cried as we met our son for the first time. I've heard everyone say it, but it was the happiest I've ever been in my life.

Becks shares his birthday with one of the wildest cousins I have, William Hummel. Oh dear Lord Becks, please don't put us through what William put Steve and Karen through!! Another August 14 birthday in our family, was that of Beckham's great, great, great grand mother, Gran. I don't even know Gran's name, but she was my mother's great grandmother. A lot of history there.

5. We spent Saturday and Sunday nights in the hospital and went home on Monday. We had one long night on Sunday night, as Beck didn't really want to eat. As many of you parents might remember, the first nights, with your first child are VERY scary. Every little thing harkens the question, 'should he be doing that?' 'Is that normal?' You just want what's best for your children when they are crying and need something but can't tell you what it is.

Susie had come up on Friday night and stayed at our house to take care of Tatum and Harvey while we were in the hospital. She brought us food and was a HUGE comfort to both of us while we blindly felt our way into parenthood. Once we got home on Monday, we were both nearly delirious from a lack of sleep. Susie stayed Monday night as well and helped us get acclimated to have a seven-pound wrecking ball in the house. Who knew such a little person could upset your entire world...oh wait, EVERY ONE OF YOU THAT HAS KIDS!! Moron. Susie stayed up all night with us as we fed him, burped him, changed him and stole 45-minute "naps" after each cycle.Susie was unbelievable. She went to KC and picked up our "Nap Nanny" (the greatest thing ever invented to go in a co-sleeper), she made food, she cleaned EVERYTHING in our house, she did laundry, she went and picked up anything we needed from Walgreens, she took the bottle while Kassie pumped, she pretty much did it all. I would like to say a HUGE, "THANK YOU" to Susie. We wouldn't have known what to do without you.

Ruth also came up on her days off, Tuesday and Thursday. She also cooked, cleaned (our plumbing clogged while we were in the hospital and all of the sewer came up in our basement shower, lovely) the disgusting basement and gave us some awesome help that we really needed. Another big THANK YOU to VV (her grandma name).

Beckham has two UNBELIEVABLE role models for grandmothers. We are so happy to have VV and GG (Susie's grandma name) to love us, teach us and help us through this amazing journey. We love you guys so much.

4. Our first scare came Wednesday. We had an appointment with our doctor to have her look over the boy. She said he looked a little yellow and wanted him checked. When the labs came back, we were both very freaked out to hear he had jaundice. I didn't know much about it, but it was from too high of a biliaruben count in his blood. They sent us to the hospital and we checked into a mini-hotel room where they put him under the "blue lights." It certainly wasn't funny at the time, but the boy looked like he was fake baking for a trip to Padre for spring break. He had the mask over his eyes and the whole bit. It was the scariest thing I've ever experienced. In hindsight, all of the nurses and doctors were telling us that it would work. But when you're waiting for it to work, up to 18 hours, the time literally freezes. In the end, we got to take our son home for a second time.

3. I have loved so many things about this experience, and I know it's only been a short time. But one thing stands out to me, aside from the moment he came out. On Thursday morning, Beck got his blood taken at 6 am to find out of the lights had brought down his biliaruben. The head nurse decided to take a bottle and put him in the nursery so Kass and I could sleep. GT, (grandpa Tom, and yes this family loves initials) came up to see Beck that morning. We went down to the nursery to see Beck and hopefully find out the test results. We hung out and GT finished giving Beckham his bottle while the nurse checked...anything under 20, anything under 20...it was like sitting at a blackjack table in Vegas, but a lot more serious. The nurse came over with a big smile, 13.8!!! POW!! Way to go Becks, the great biliaruben scare of 2010 was over. We loaded him up in his baby cart and took him back to our room. We told Kass and as relieved as she was, she was also exhausted so she went back to sleep.

My dad and I sat in this mini-hotel, hospital room, with just the bathroom light on, looking at Beckham. For about an hour, we stood over him, whispering back and forth as to not wake Kass, about lives...GT's, my grandfather Alvin's, Alvin's father Everett, mine, Ian's, Beckham's cousin Cooper's and Beckham's. How different the times are since my great grandfather Everett lived. My dad shared memories of looking at me in my little bed as a newborn baby. It made me think forward to the great times I will have with Beckham, and if I'm luck enough, the conversation I might have with him as he looks over his kids. I had such a great childhood, much in part to all the things I did with my dad. Thanks for everything dad, I love you and I hope I can be half the father to Beckham you are to me.

2. Sometimes you think you know someone. You can know them for years, and maybe not really know them. I have known Kassie since she was very young. It's been a running joke since our relationship started. I felt like I really, really knew Kassie. I married her after all. But the last year or so has been a real different "knowing" of Kassie. She is the most amazing mother I have ever seen. No offense to all the other mother's out there. She has endured 19 months of infertility, which gets you tons of shots, lots of pills, a gazillion blood tests and doctor visits, and worst of all, 18 heart breaking negative tests. For those of you that know from experience, it's the worst roller coaster you can't get off of. For those of you that don't know, I hope you NEVER know what it's like.

Katherine Shaw "Kassie" Baxter Abbott, there are no words of thanks that would adequately cover what you have done for me. Your sacrifice deserves to be in the Mommy Hall of Fame. If there isn't one, there should be and you and a bunch of other mom's I know would be the inaugural class. I love you so much and I can't wait to raise this boy with you. You have so many natural maternal instincts, I know our son will never be without the one key component to make a great person...love. We will have ups and downs, but the one thing I know is that we can get through anything. We are going to have some great times in the future and I know that your sacrifice is what brought me the joy I feel now and the joy I will feel in watching Beckham grow up. I love you!!

ONE!!! Well, if you're still reading after this novel I have written, you are either "pot committed" (different than what you were thinking William) or you are just a glutton for punishment. Since we've come this far, we might as well cover #1...

To my son, Beckham Brooks:The second I saw you, I realized that there was a type of love I never knew. It's a love that is composed of being happy, proud, excited, nervous and hopeful. I can't tell you how it feels to finally have you here after what your mom and I have been through. Which is a good time to tell you to always listen to your mom...she just wants what's best for you. It won't always be what you want, but she knows, my son.

You are a product of love. Your mother and I love you more than anything on this earth, including ourselves. The best part about being you is that you are part of a family that will love you no matter what. Your parents made a lot of mistakes when they were growing up, and their parents taught them right from wrong and loved them no matter what. Just like your great grandparents did for them. Just as we will do for you. We hope you will make the right decisions most of the time, but when you don't we will be there for you to pick you up, dust you off and send you right back into the game.

Son, a couple of things will get you a long way in life. First, be nice to everyone. It doesn't matter what sex, race, intelligence, height, weight or anything else, just be kind to people. This rule will get you far. No one likes a bully and it's okay to stand up for what you believe is right. I had a kid growing up who was a bit different, and kids picked on him. Anytime I ever saw anyone picking on him, I did my best to intervene. I have a few regrets from when I was young, helping that kid will never be one of them. Becks, be nice.

Second, family first. Both your mom and I come from unbelievable families. You have amazing grandparents on your mom's side. Your Pappi Steve and your GG Susie are very, very cool people. You can depend on them for almost anything. Please talk to your Pappi about dressing, he will teach you everything you need to know. He's the best-dressed man in America. Your GG will help any time, any place with no questions asked. Ask your mom and auntie Jessa about this. I've known her to drive in the middle of the night up to Lawrence to help your mom and I. Your auntie Jessa and Uncle Scotty gave you a cousin, Indie. You and Indie are probably going to cause some trouble. Just remember to always be a gentleman, share your toys, food and your time with her. Jessa and Scott also love you and want the best for you. If they tell you to do something, don't argue with them, just do it!! Your GB and Grammy and Gramps Baxter are also here to give you love and support. You have another grandpa, Pa Woody who is watching you from heaven. I will tell you all about Pa Woody when you are older as he had a big impact on my life, and never knew it would end up with me writing about him in this letter to you, his grandson. Small world, and he is a great example of what happens when you are nice to people.

Your dad's family is a bit tougher to describe...it's not that they aren't great, they are. There just happens to be a lot more of them!! Your GT and your VV are two of the greatest parents a kid could ever have. They will love you and teach you things you never thought possible. One thing, don't believe a WORD they tell you about me. None of that stuff is true. Your aunt Katie and uncle Kelly are real close, over in KC, so we will spend lots of time with your cousin Cooper. Your aunt Katie is very, very smart and she's a teacher. You listen to her if she tells you something...it's for you own good and she has LOTS of experience with kids. Then there is your uncle Ian. Your uncle Ian is special. He has gifts the rest of us don't have. Uncle Ian will teach you about a lot of things, 4 wheelers, trucks, Legos, and many other tangible things. What Ian has taught me, and will probably teach you, is unconditional love. Ian is a rare person Becks, he has no enemies. Then you have your great grandma and grandpa Alvin and Martha. They lived right up the street when I was growing up and I rode my bike to their house several times a week. We had so many GREAT times we shared and your great grandpa Alvin is going to teach you a thing or two about growing up...he sure did with me. I can't wait for our first 4 generation Abbott wood cut outing...ask him how to "snake" out trees you've cut down. He'll show you!! You just missed meeting your GranGran. She passed at the end of June, and would have loved to meet you. She was an amazing woman and was the boss of one CRAZY, huge family. She presided over dozens of Christmas Eve parties with all your great aunties, uncles, my cousins and eventually, your second cousins.

The important thing to know, is that these families are all special in so many different ways. These families are talented, smart, special, beautiful, musical, athletic and gifted in so many ways. And growing up in these families, your mother and I learned a lot about life, and even more about love. I feel so blessed to know every one of you, my grandparents, parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, first cousins once removed. You have all shaped my life in so many unique ways. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart as I transition myself into a father. I know I am prepared and I'm excited to start this journey with the love and support of each of you.

Here we go...fatherhood, here I come!! Wish me luck, if this kid is anything like me, Kassie and I are going to need it!!